Humor: The Borowitz Report

Peace with Iran Could Limit Ability to Bomb It, Warns McCain

BY 


CREDIT PHOTOGRAPH BY T. J. KIRKPATRICK/GETTY

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Shortly after world powers successfully negotiated a nuclear-framework agreement with Iran, Sen. John McCain warned that a lasting peace with the Middle Eastern nation “could greatly limit our ability to bomb it.”

“President Obama is hailing this framework as something that could enhance the prospects for peace in the Middle East,” McCain told reporters at the United States Senate. “For those of us who have looked forward to bombing Iran for some time now, that would be a doomsday scenario.”

“The Iranians know well and good that if they abandon their nuclear program exactly the way we’ve asked them to, we can kiss bombing them goodbye,” he said, shaking his head ruefully. “It’s a damn shame.”

As for President Obama, McCain added, “Sometimes I think the President cares more about making the Iranians happy than about making the people who want to bomb the Iranians happy.”

With the deadline for finalizing a nuclear treaty with Iran set for June 30th, McCain said that there was still a chance that talks could break down and allow the United States to bomb it, but added, “I’m not getting my hopes up.”

“If we all wake up on July 1st and we’re at peace with Iran, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said.

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