Humor: The Borowitz Report

NATION THAT WAITED DECADES TO PASS HEALTH CARE INFURIATED BY SLOW WEB SITE

POSTED BY 
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A nation that waited several decades for health insurance is becoming increasingly infuriated by a Web site that is wasting minutes of its time, reports from across the United States confirm.
The official Web site of Obamacare, HealthCare.gov, has been plagued by glitches, crashes, and sluggishly loading pages, say millions of angry Americans attempting to log on to the site at exactly the same time.

“Look, I know that we had to wait longer for health care than virtually every other industrialized nation on earth,” said Tracy Klugian, a muffler salesman from Akron, Ohio. “But the time I spent on that Web site is thirty-five minutes I’ll never get back.”

Sharing what he called his “Obamacare horror story,” Mr. Klugian said, “Being on that Web site slowed down our wi-fi so much that my kids couldn’t stream videos. For a so-called health-care program, it’s causing a lot of stress that’s the opposite of healthy, if you ask me.”

Harland Dorrinson, a gym manager from Knoxville, Tennessee, had an Obamacare nightmare of his own, having to log on to the site “two completely different times” before getting health insurance for the first time in his life.

“President Obama said he was going to make health care affordable and available to millions of Americans,” he said, bitterly. “He didn’t tell us it would take more than an hour.”

Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.

Photograph by Joe Raedle/Getty

Preferences
§
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
0
=
Backspace
Tab
q
w
e
r
t
y
u
i
o
p
[
]
Return
capslock
a
s
d
f
g
h
j
k
l
;
\
shift
`
z
x
c
v
b
n
m
,
.
/
shift
English
alt
alt
Preferences
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s