Mario Piperni’s Illustrated Late-Night Humor

Late Night Political Humor

APRIL 12, 2013 BY 

Humor - Late Night  :

The best of late night political humor via Daniel Kurtzman’s Political Humor.

Happy Friday.

“After withdrawing from public life Anthony Weiner is ready to stick it back in. Folks, that takes balls. Sadly, we know he has them.” –Stephen Colbert

“Tensions continue to mount in this North Korea situation. The U.S. has moved a Navy warship off the coast of the Korean Peninsula. Is that going to scare the North Koreans? If you really want to scare them, don’t send a warship. Send a Carnival cruise ship.” –Jay Leno

“Why do I feel like this whole thing could be solved by sending Kim Jong Un a Disneyland pass?” –Jimmy Kimmel

“In high school Kim Jong Un starred in a production of the musical ‘Grease.’ That’s also where Kim met his first wife, Olivia Newton Jong.” –Conan O’Brien

“This week on the ‘Today’ show, Chelsea Clinton said she’s open to running for political office one day. When she heard that, Sasha Obama was like, ‘Cool. How does secretary of state sound?’” –Jimmy Fallon

“The Obama administration new budget plan calls for saving billions of dollars by selling off federal properties. So folks get ready for the Washington Monument, brought to you by Cialis.” –Conan O’Brien

“North Korea is ruled by Kim Jong Un. Over the weekend, the premier of China told Kim Jong Un to chill out. Now, when the premier of China tells you to chill out, it’s like Mel Gibson saying, ‘Whoa, easy on the tequila.’” –Craig Ferguson

“The acting president of Venezuela has put a curse on voters who don’t vote for him in next week’s election. Today Mitt Romney said, ‘You can do that?’” –Jay Leno

Romney - Statue  :

“It was this day in 1967 that Russia sold Alaska to the United States for 2 cents an acre. You know why they sold us so cheaply? Just to get rid of the Palins.” –Jay Leno

“President Obama is in trouble for saying that California Attorney General Kamala Harris is good looking. When asked for comment, Bill Clinton said, ‘That guy is out of control.” –Conan O’Brien

“Because Obama said California Attorney General Kamala Harris was attractive, people are calling his remark sexist. Now the President is overcompensating and trying to balance it out. Today he said Attorney General Eric Holder has a great ass.” –Jay Leno

“North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It’s like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.” –Bill Maher

“Everybody’s excited about college basketball’s tournament. You know who is a big fan of the Syracuse Orangemen? John Boehner.” –David Letterman

John Boehner -

“It seems like every single day, President Obama finds a new way to waste our tax dollars. I mean, two daughters? Seems a little redundant.” –Stephen Colbert


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