Some Late Night Political Humor
Baking my special Easter bread today. It’s a sweet, raisin-filled bread similar to panettone…only better. This is the first year I’m attempting to knead the dough with a stand mixer instead of doing it by hand. It’s got me a little worried in that the mechanical process seemed to require more bread flour than I would normally add to the mixture. After 10 minutes in the KitchenAid, I decided to finish the kneading by hand. The danger with dough is over-kneading but I checked my baby seconds ago and it’s doubled in size in the last hour. Perfect. That first slice of hot Easter bread with a dab of butter is mere hours away!
While I wait, here’s the best of late night political humor via Daniel Kurtzman’s Political Humor.
“The Supreme Court heard arguments on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage. It could be a major blow for those who believe that marriage should be between two bitterly and eventually overweight people of the opposite sex.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“I hope they legalize gay marriage because I need to be alive when ‘Gay Divorce Court’ hits the air. That’s how I’ll be spending my days.” –David Letterman
“Rush Limbaugh said that lesbians don’t have to worry about their appearance, so they are free to get fat. Moments later, Rush Limbaugh officially come out as a lesbian.” –Conan O’Brien
“A recent poll found that 58% of Americans now think it should be legal for gays and lesbians to get married. And the other 42% object only because they don’t want to go to another goddamn wedding.” –Stephen Colbert
“Some people traveled to Washington and paid as much as $6,000 to watch the Supreme Court’s deliberations on gay marriage. Yeah, $6,000. Maybe that’s why the Supreme Court launched its 41-city Monsters of Gay Marriage Deliberation Tour.” –Conan O’Brien
“Congresswoman Michele Bachmann is under investigation for alleged misuse of campaign funds. She’s blaming the accusations on her arch nemesis: the facts.” –Jay Leno
“Last night President Obama celebrated Passover by hosting a seder at the White House. There was an awkward moment when Sasha asked, ‘Hey, I thought we were Muslim.” –Conan O’Brien
“It was proposed this week that members of Congress use video conferencing and other remote technology to work from their home states instead of Washington. They figure they can get just as much ‘not done’ at home as they get ‘not done’ in Washington.” –Jay Leno
”I think I finally figured out where Sarah Palin came from. Someone cast a spell on a YouTube comment and it came to life.” –Jon Stewart
“Over the weekend the current Pope and the former Pope had lunch together. The waiter who served them said they spent the whole time bitching about their boss.” –Conan O’Brien
“Thanks to Televangelists Pat Robertson and John Hagee, we know that bad weather is always God’s punishment for man’s moral failings. Hurricanes form from rising moisture created from hot, steamy man-action aboard a gay Caribbean cruise.” –Stephen Colbert
“According to a new survey, the average member of Congress can speak only at a 10th-grade level. Which is worse than it sounds, because the average 10th grader can speak only at a 5th-grade level.” –Jay Leno
“The Republican National Committee announced that it will spend $10 million to reach out to Hispanic, Asian, and African-American voters – you know, to ask them not to vote.” –Jimmy Fallon