Mario Piperni on Repug Doublespeak

I’m Not Gay. Why Should You Be?

MARCH 21, 2013 BY  

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Republican Sen. Saxby Chambliss may have inadvertently started a brand new meme. When asked if his views on same-sex marriage had changed in light of fellow Republican Sen. Rob Portman’s newly found support for gay marriage, Chambliss had this to say:

“I’m not gay. So I’m not going to marry one.”

Okay. Understood…which leaves me to think that there is no reason that the same ‘logic’ used by Chambliss on gay marriage could not be used on a number of other important issues.

Let’s see…

“I’m not a woman. So I’ll never have a probe shoved into my vagina against my will.”

“I’m not a woman. So I’ll never get pregnant by way of rape and forced to carry a baby I don’t want.”

“I’m not a woman. So I’ll never have a gang of old male politicians sitting around telling me what I must or must not do with my own body.”

“I’m not poor. So I’ll never have to forgo proper medical care because I can’t afford health insurance and have to wait until I’m seriously ill to get emergency room care.”

“I’m not part of the middle class. So I’ll never have to rely on Social Security and Medicare to help me through my later years.”

“I’m not an African-American. So I’ll never have my vote suppressed by Republican state legislatures intent on stealing elections.”

“I’m not a child born in the United States to an undocumented immigrant father. So I don’t have to worry about my family being ripped apart and sent away to a land I’ve never known.”

“I’m not a foreigner living in the Middle East. So I don’t ever have to worry about the United States invading my country and killing over 100,000 of my fellow citizens and doing it all on a case built of lies and misinformation.”

“I’m not a 20-year old soldier. So I don’t have to worry about losing my life or getting my legs blown off fighting in an illegitimate war cooked up by 60-year chickenhawk politicians like myself who used student deferments to get out of serving in Vietnam.”

Right, Chambliss. You’re not gay. But you are a soulless, uncaring prick.

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