Daily Archives: December 16, 2011

Stunning

This graphic from MoveOn.org demands answers from those patriotic solons waxing eloquent about our valiant troops. Will they give a shit now that they’re home?

The Borowitz Report

Conspiracy Theorists Believe Actual Republican Candidates Are Tied Up Somewhere

Obama a Prime Suspect

DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report) – A growing number of conspiracy theorists believe that the Republican candidates who keep showing up for televised debates are impostors and that the actual GOP candidates are tied up in a warehouse somewhere.

“There’s no way that these people are the actual candidates,” said Tracy Klugian, a leading conspiracy theorist who subscribes to the warehouse theory.  “The American people need to stand up and demand the return of the real ones.”

Mr. Klugian, who started the website WhereAreTheRealOnes.com, said he started suspecting “something was up” months ago when the “supposed Republican candidates started debating,” but last night’s debate in Iowa left little doubt in his mind that the actual Republican candidates have been detained elsewhere.

“When the most sensible person onstage is Ron Paul,” he said, “you know that what you’re witnessing is an elaborate hoax.”

Conspiracy theorists like Mr. Klugian leave little doubt who might be behind the conspiracy to tie up the actual candidates at some remote location: President Barack Obama.

“If you could ensure that you’d be running against Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney, wouldn’t you?” he said.  “When the truth about this conspiracy comes out, it’s going to make what happened with the aliens at Roswell look like a game of duck-duck-goose.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Klugian said he remains “baffled” by people who insist on believing that the seven people who debated last night in Iowa are the actual Republican candidates.

“There’s no way you can believe that if you actually watched the debate,” he said.  “It was like a sitcom with no main characters and just wacky neighbors.”

LUV News on the Nuclear Mafia

THE NUCLEAR MAFIA NEVER SLEEPS

 Of all the extensive corruption in our government, few things rival the defense procurement process. We have interviewed a great many retired admirals and generals at LUV News and they tell us the system has very little to do with defense, much more to do with theft from the taxpayers — corporate welfare on steroids.

Weapons are made for profit, with little consideration toward anything else. Members of Congress and presidential candidates are given millions of dollars in “campaign financing,” which we prefer to call bribes, with which to influence getting these projects funded, often individually for billions of dollars.

Admirals and generals about to retire are offered jobs with these “defense” corporations (we prefer to call them The Nuclear Mafia), often paid several hundreds of thousands of dollars annually for their contacts in the Pentagon, where they will push old friends to buy weapons systems in selling out the American people.

CEOs of the companies involved get millions of dollars in salary from the taxpayers, and their transnational investors get billions of dollars in profits. The public are given propaganda about how these projects provide jobs, without pointing out that doing almost anything else would provide more and better jobs. This is not about jobs, it is about profits, and if the profits were taken out of the system, most of these weapons would not be made, and those that were would be far more responsive to the actual needs of the military.

Dina Rasor has a Truthout report this morning taking us inside the F-35 project, which we would call a scam at LUV News.

LUV News on Bradley Manning

INJUSTICE TOWARD A HERO OF THE LAND

 Today Bradley Manning finally gets a hearing at Fort Meade, Maryland, after having been brutally treated and locked up since May of 2010 for, in our opinion at LUV News, exposing war crimes and exposing collusion between our government and savage dictators abroad.

As we said when he was arrested, we believe that if he is guilty of the charges against him, he is a hero and should be awarded a medal by the Army for what he did. We want our nation to stand for higher things than war crimes and working with dictators.

Occupy groups and others will travel to Fort Meade from Freedom Plaza this morning in support of Manning, including famed whistleblower Daniel Ellsberg and Kevin Zeese, who heads the Bradley Manning Support Network.

The Obama regime has been brutal toward whistleblowers, snuffing out sunlight more than any preceding administration, and is behind the outrageous treatment of Bradley.

Mario Piperni’s Illustrated Late-Night Humor

Late Night Political Humor

December 16, 2011 By

I’ve been away for a couple of days.  Good to be back.

Via Political Humor, my favorites…

“A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, ‘Wait a minute, isn’t Newt in favor of multiple wives?’” –David Letterman

“Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn’t win, that’s going to be one heck of an election night party.” –Jay Leno

“Men are now going to their barber and asking for a Mitt. Then they go to the girl on the corner and ask for a Herman Cain.” –Jay Leno

“Some people say that Mitt Romney isn’t the most consistent candidate, because he’s changed his mind about big, important issues over the years. You know, that’s one of the things that I like about him, because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Rick Perry said there were eight supreme court justices instead of nine. But, in his defense, he did know there were only three judges on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” –Jay Leno

“Perry also said the Obama administration sent $500 million to the ‘country of Solyndra.’ If an energy company was a country, don’t you think we would’ve invaded it by now?” –Jay Leno


“Rick Perry was interviewed in a library, and they placed special books that were kind of mean: “Runnin’ Texas for Dummies,” “Supreme Court for Dummies,” “Dumb & Dumber for Dummies.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Perry doesn’t have an Achilles heel. He has an Achilles head.” –Daily Show correspondent John Oliver

“Newt Gingrich released a statement promising he would not cheat on his wife. Even better, he said he wouldn’t cheat on his next wife either, or the one after that.” –Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday, someone threw a pair of shoes at Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Iran has captured the shoes and is studying their technology.” –Conan O’Brien

“Only two candidates have agreed to attend Donald Trump’s Iowa debate. So Trump’s either going to cancel or round out the field with Meat Loaf, Omarosa and Gary Busey.” –Jay Leno

“Newt has a holiday book out. ‘The Newt Before Christmas.’” –David Letterman

“This guy is something. He’s committed to the debate, he’s not committed; he’s running, he’s not running; he’s in, he’s out. What does he think this is, one of his marriages?” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Many voters feel that Mitt Romney is out of touch with real Americans after he tried to make a bet with Rick Perry for $10,000. When asked to comment, Mitt said, ‘I’m sorry, but that’s all I had in my pocket at the time.’” –Conan O’Brien

“Ron Paul looks like one of your old relatives. The guy that keeps sending you the blank emails.” –David Letterman

“Donald trump announced this morning that he will not serve as moderator at the GOP debate that was scheduled for Dec. 27. He said he had to cancel the debate because he may want to run as an independent candidate — and because only two of the GOP candidates decided to show up.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Only two candidates have agreed to attend Donald Trump’s Iowa debate. So Trump’s either going to cancel or round out the field with Meat Loaf, Omarosa and Gary Busey.” –Jay Leno

“You know the difference between God and Newt Gingrich? God doesn’t think he’s Newt Gingrich.” –Jay Leno

And the winner is…

“While speaking to a prominent group of Jewish Republicans, Newt Gingrich promised to support Israel, not give in to the Palestinians, and even promised his next wife would be Jewish.” –Jay Leno

Wonkbook: No shutdown this year

Posted by at 07:54 AM ET, 12/16/2011

 There won’t be a government shutdown this year. After some minor, last-minute compromises on both sides, congressional leaders signed off on a $1 trillion deal to fund the government through 2012 — beating the deadline by a full 27 hours.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of Calif. gestures during a news conference in Washington on Dec. 15. (Susan Walsh – AP) It also looks like the payroll tax is likely to get extended. Senate Democrats have dropped their demands to fund it through a surtax on millionaires. And though House Republicans haven’t yet dropped their demands to tie it to the Keystone XL pipeline, Senate Republicans are negotiating to fund it through some mixture of tax cuts, war savings, and, if Democrats have their way, tax loopholes. The expectation is that if the two sides can come to a deal in the Senate, there will be enough Democrats who will join the Republicans to carry it through in the House.

But that deal is less certain. So Senate negotiators are also working on a stopgap that will extend the payroll tax cut, unemployment insurance, and sundry other provisions for two months. That’s not good for the vaunted “policy certainty” that politicians claim to care so much about, but it’s better than letting the policies expire. It’s also worth clarifying that the payroll tax cut they’re looking to extend is the same one that’s been in effect through 2011, not the expanded version that the Obama administration proposed for 2012. Congress isn’t doing more for the troubled economy, but at this point, it doesn’t look like they’ll end up doing much less, either.