The Borowitz Report

Rebels Fan Across Libya Dressed as Condoleezza Rice

Foolproof Plan, Rebel Commanders Say

TRIPOLI (The Borowitz Report) – In an all-out effort to capture Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi, rebels fanned out across the country today dressed as former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Donning bright pink pantsuits and black pumps, the fifteen thousand rebels blanketed the Middle Eastern nation, hoping to create a honey trap of sorts for Mr. Gaddafi, whose unrequited crush on Secretary Rice has come to light in recent days.

In the latest revelation, a diary recovered from Col. Gaffafi’s battered compound details the origins of his passion for the woman he referred to as “my sweet Condoleezza.”

“It was love at first sight,” he said of his meeting with the former Secretary of State in 2008.  “I was immediately turned on by her hard-to-spell name.”

Rebel field commander Awad Daiki said that with thousands of fierce fighters disguised as Rice, the military mission dubbed Operation Condoleezza was sure to be a success.

“Once we will have Gaddafi in our clutches, there will be cause for celebration,” he said.  “Plus, we can’t wait to get out of these heels.”

From The Reality of Rick Perry’s Texas Facebook

Cindy Noble Cole

The wording of the anti-abortion pledge that that Perry, among others has signed: Take the Pro-Life Citizen’s Pledge!

I PLEDGE that I will only support candidates for President who are committed to protecting Life. I demand that any candidate I support commit to these positions:

FIRST, to nominate to the U.S. federal bench judges who are committed to restraint and applying the original meaning of the Constitution, not legislating from the bench;

SECOND, to select only pro-life appointees for relevant Cabinet and Executive Branch positions, in particular the head of National Institutes of Health, the Department of Justice, and the Department of Health & Human Services;

THIRD, to advance pro-life legislation to permanently end all taxpayer funding of abortion in all domestic and international spending programs, and defund Planned Parenthood and all other contractors and recipients of federal funds with affiliates that perform or fund abortions;

FOURTH, advance and sign into law a Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act to protect unborn children who are capable of feeling pain from abortion.

***** How will this effect a president’s ability to represent ALL the people vs only the PRO-LIFERS?