Late Night Political Humor
I’ve been battling a cold and internet issues since morning. Not good so I’m taking a 10 count and conceding victory. Consider this an open thread.
I hear Romney just released his 2011 tax returns where he had to engineer his deductions to bring his tax rate up from 9 to 14.1 percent. What a putz.
Here’s the best from Political Humor‘s collection of the week’s late night political humor. Happy Friday.
“It’s Fall. Unless you’re Mitt Romney, and then it’s freefall.” –David Letterman
“Mitt Romney says that about half the country is freeloaders. And freeloaders – that includes wealthy politicians who only pay 13 percent in tax.” –David Letterman
“I like Mitt. Listen to this. He has alienated the young people, alienated the old people, alienated women, alienated minorities, alienated gays. I’m telling you, this takes talent.” –David Letterman
“Romney said he doesn’t watch ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ because if Romney wants to see rich people say dumb things on camera he can watch that fundraiser video.” –Jimmy Fallon
“What are they talking about? Romney has given some very specific figures. For instance, he is willing to piss off exactly 47% of the voters.” –Stephen Colbert
“All of these political strategists are trying to explain why Mitt Romney can’t seem to get his message out. I’m no strategist but it’s hard to talk with both a silver spoon and a foot in your mouth.” –Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney said if he had Mexican parents, he’d have a better shot of winning…But unfortunately Romney was tragically held back by being born of rich white people.” –Conan O’Brien
“It is high time that the GOP stop trying to appeal to smart people – and letting Rick Santorum in front of a microphone is a great place to start.” –Stephen Colbert, on Santorum’s remarks that “smart people will never be on our side”
“Mitt Romney was here meeting with the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. He’s looking for a housekeeper for his place in La Jolla.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Mitt Romney was on ‘Live With Kelly and Michael.’ At one point Mitt was asked what he wears to bed. He said as little as possible. It’s the same philosophy that Mitt has in regard to paying taxes.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Mitt also admitted on the show that his guilty pleasures are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chocolate milk. Even his guilty pleasures are boring.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“In a recent promotion, Mitt Romney is offering donors a chance to win a ride on his campaign plane. But if you know how Mitt Romney travels, this is one contest you don’t want to win.” (on screen: a picture of someone strapped to the roof of his plane) –Seth Meyers
“It’s nice to know that no matter how bad things get in the Middle East, Mitt Romney is always there to make them worse. You saw him this week when our embassies were under attack, before any facts were in he tried to score political points because he sees everything as a business opportunity. This is a man who would sell ad time during a moment of silence.” –Bill Maher