Humor: The Borowitz Report

Leaked Memo from Romney to Ryan

Posted by Andy Borowitz

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—After watching its Vice-Presidential pick on the campaign trail over the weekend, the Romney campaign today issued the following confidential memo to Representative Paul Ryan (R., Wisc.):

From: Romney for President Campaign
To: Paul Ryan
Subject: Tweaks

We want to stress just how excited we are to have you as a member of America’s Comeback Team. The following suggestions are intended to make a super performance even superer:

1. On your first stop on Saturday, you said, “I’m opposed to Obamacare and Medicare, and also the word ‘care.’ ” Even though that was a big applause line, we’re concerned that the MSM may take it out of context.

2. Some of your proposals, while bold and terrific, may need to be focus-grouped before you go public with them. We’re thinking in particular of your town hall meeting on Sunday, when you proposed replacing Medicaid with Groupons. Also, we may want to dial back comments about putting the elderly on ice floes and letting them drift out to sea. Whenever an audience member at a campaign event needs a defibrillator that makes for bad optics.

3. Good people to quote in speeches: Ronald Reagan, Grover Norquist, Milton Friedman. Names to avoid: Ayn Rand, Marie Antoinette.

4. Just a suggestion/thought, but maybe come up with alternative ending for stump speech, other than “We’re America’s Comeback Team, and we’re going to make America come back to the year 1860.”

Other than those tweaks, just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but nobody’s talking about Mitt’s tax returns anymore! LOL

 

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Mario Piperni on a Mitt Double Standard

Romney Demanded Several Years of Tax Returns of Potential Veeps

August 12, 2012 By mario piperni

The more you learn of Mitt Romney’s modus operandi, the slimier he gets. Via Buzzfeed.

Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign requested “several” years of tax returns from potential vice presidential picks, senior adviser Beth Myers, who ran the search, told reporters Saturday.

Myers said vetting documents were stored in safes in a secure room at campaign headquarters for review by attorneys.

Asked what was inside the safes, Myers replied “tax documents, everything we used.”

And how many years? “Several” she said, declining to provide a more specific number.

Romney has found himself in on defense on the issue. His father, former Michigan Governor George Romney, began the voluntary practice of financial transparency when he volunteered to turn over, in his case, 12 years of tax returns to an inquisitive reporter in 1967. Mitt Romney reportedly provided 23 years of returns to John McCain’s vetters when he was up for the vice presidential nomination four years ago. He has said he fears that the Obama campaign and the media will distort the contents of any other returns he might release.

Armando over at Daily Kos said it best.

Apparently, Romney, like Leona Helmsley, not only thinks that only the “little people” pay taxes, but that only “our betters” are permitted to review the tax returns of political candidates.

Let them eat cake: it’s not just a slogan, it’s Mitt Romney’s view of everything.

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(The Romney source photograph is a Creative Commons licensed image from photographer Gage Skidmore. The Marie Antoinette source image is in the public domain.)

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