Daily Archives: January 11, 2012

The Borowitz Report

Romney Vows to Undo Everything Obama Has Done: ‘I Will Make Bin Laden Alive Again’

Calls Slain al-Qaeda Leader a Job Creator

MANCHESTER, NH (The Borowitz Report) – In a rousing victory speech in New Hampshire last night, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney vowed to undo everything Barack Obama has done as President, promising his supporters, “I will make Osama bin Laden alive again.”

Mr. Romney called the assassination of bin Laden “just one of the many mistakes this President has made,” adding, “Say what you will about Osama bin Laden, the man was a job creator.”

The presumptive GOP nominee said that on his first day in office, “I will get a hold of the DNA of Osama bin Laden and breathe the life-force of capitalism back into it.”

The reanimation of the slain al-Qaeda leader is just the first of many steps Mr. Romney plans to take in his effort to get the USA “back to exactly how it was” before Mr. Obama took office.

“As President, I will immediately close down GM and Chrysler and put thousands of Americans out on the street,” he said.  “And then I will try to get a hold of the DNA of Qaddafi.”

At another point in his victory speech, Mr. Romney complained that his controversial remark about “liking to fire people” had been taken out of context: “The full quote was, ‘I like to fire people – and then laugh at them.’”

Natural News on Weird Food

This link will take you to Natural News, where you can download a PDF telling you some crazy food facts, such as the following:

  • Citrus-flavored sodas are made with a toxic flame-retardant chemical that’s banned in over 100 countries (but not the USA).
  • Chinese restaurant “soy sauce” is actually a toxic chemical imitation of real soy sauce.
  • When French fries are fried, they produce a toxic, cancer-causing chemical that you’ll never see listed on ingredients labels.
  • TVP (Textured Vegetable Protein) often contains a highly toxic non-food product that’s used as a commercial pesticide.
  • Did you know that hot dog casings are made from homogenized cowhides that are dissolved, then extruded into the shape of a tube?
  • Most margarine products are actually made with dairy-derived ingredients.
  • Gelatin, used in Jell-O and jams, is made from from the boiled skin and cartilage of cows and pigs.
  • How a high-tech company reverse-engineered the human genome to develop chemically-targeted taste blockers and enhancers that are added to snack foods.
  • Factory-farmed egg-laying chickens are deliberately fed brightly-colored objects (such as yellow flower petals) to result in a more appealing color of their egg yolks.

 

Ezra Klein on “Moderate” Huntsman

In the end, the polls were right. Mitt Romney took first, Ron Paul took second, and Jon Huntsman took third. Huntsman’s weak finish led many to suggest that the GOP was no place for moderates. But the truth is that Huntsman’s campaign didn’t prove that, or anything like it. For all Huntsman’s signaling and hinting, his policy platform is no more moderate than Romney’s. In fact, it might be less moderate.

Huntsman’s tax plan is more radical than Romney’s. It wipes out every deduction and exemption and then uses the savings to cut the tax on capital gains and dividends to zero. That amounts to a massive tax cut for the wealthy — and it comes at the expense of benefits like the Earned Income Tax Credit and the Child Tax Credit, which go to the poorest Americans, and the mortgage-interest tax deduction and the exclusion for employer-based health insurance, which go to many middle-income Americans. Romney’s plan, by contrast, only cuts the rate on capital gains and dividends for those making less than $250,000. The two candidates have mostly the same position on corporate taxation — drop the rate from 35% to 25% — but Huntsman adds a temporary tax holiday for overseas profits.

Similarly, Huntsman’s spending cuts are more radical than Romney’s. Though his entitlement reforms remain vague, he promises they will be “based on the Ryan Plan.” Romney, meanwhile, broke with the Ryan plan to preserve traditional fee-for-service Medicare as an option in his entitlement reforms.

Huntsman has gotten mileage out of attacking too-big-to-fail banks and discussing a cap on bank assets, but his proposed remedy doesn’t go very far: “Impose a fee on banks whose size exceeds a certain percentage of GDP to cover the cost they would impose on taxpayers in a bailout” and limit leverage. Romney’s plans are similarly vague: “Greater transparency for inter-bank relationships, enhanced capital requirements, and provisions to address new forms of complex financial transactions are all necessary elements of effective financial reform.”

Huntsman does support a rapid withdrawal from Afghanistan and civil unions. Romney doesn’t favor either policy. And Huntsman has been willing to pick fights with the conservative base — notably on the existence of climate change and evolution — in a way Romney hasn’t. But these fights haven’t translated into policy differences. So it is hard to say that, on balance, Romney’s ideas are to the right of Huntsman’s. If I was scoring the two plans, I’d say Huntsman’s tax and entitlement proposals put him to the right of Romney.

Which is not to say Romney’s plans make him a moderate. On taxes, for instance, he is well to the right of George W. Bush. Where Bush proposed his tax cuts to spend down a surplus, Romney, in a time of massive deficits, is proposing to make Bush’s tax cuts permanent (price tag: $4 trillion) and then add trillions more in cuts that heavily favor wealthy Americans. On Medicare, too, he is well to the right of Bush: A more moderate version of Ryan’s plan is vastly more conservative than anything Bush ever attempted.

Nevertheless, he is, of the Republicans running for president, the least extreme in his policy proposals, and also the most likely to capture the nomination. If Huntsman counts as a moderate, then so does Romney — and so, in their presidential preferences so far, do a plurality of Republican primary voters. They have, after all, not only backed Romney, but they have decisively rejected Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann, the candidates aimed most squarely at Tea Party wing of the GOP.

Inmates Run the School Asylum

What you know could hurt you has become a reality in New Hampshire public education.

We are not kidding.

In what is now a law in the Granite State, through a veto override last week, parents can object to any part of a public school curriculum and have it replaced for their child. Perhaps born of a Tea Party nod to home schooling, it’s really an attempt to turn public education into anarchy.

According to the Huffington Post:

Gov. John Lynch (D) vetoed the measure in July, saying the bill would harm education quality and give parents control over lesson plans.

“For example, under this bill, parents could object to a teacher’s plan to: teach the history of France or the history of the civil or women’s rights movements,” Lynch wrote in his veto message. “Under this bill, a parent could find ‘objectionable’ how a teacher instructs on the basics of algebra. In each of those cases, the school district would have to develop an alternative educational plan for the student….”

Under the terms of the bill, which was sponsored by state Rep. J.R. Hoell (R-Dunbarton), a parent could object to any curriculum or course material in the classroom … The parent would be responsible for paying the cost of developing the new curriculum. The bill also allows for the parent’s name and reason for objection to be sealed by the state.

Not only does the new law create an administrative nightmare and perhaps insurmountable obstacles to teaching coherent lesson plans, it is a direct assault on the concept of a shared base of knowledge, passed from one generation to the next.

As with charter schools and vouchers, the New Hampshire legislator is trying to further weaken the public education system, in fact to the point of making it dysfunctional.

The arch conservative Manchester (New Hampshire) Union-Leader editorial board calls this radical, right-wing law “neither workable, nor sensible.”

America was built and prospered on the notion that primary and high school students benefit from community-based educational systems. In New Hampshire, they just shot an arrow through the heart of that idea, which has been integral to our national greatness.

Mark Karlin,
Editor BuzzFlash at Truthout