Rebels Fan Across Libya Dressed as Condoleezza Rice
Foolproof Plan, Rebel Commanders Say
TRIPOLI (The Borowitz Report) – In an all-out effort to capture Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi, rebels fanned out across the country today dressed as former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.
Donning bright pink pantsuits and black pumps, the fifteen thousand rebels blanketed the Middle Eastern nation, hoping to create a honey trap of sorts for Mr. Gaddafi, whose unrequited crush on Secretary Rice has come to light in recent days.
In the latest revelation, a diary recovered from Col. Gaffafi’s battered compound details the origins of his passion for the woman he referred to as “my sweet Condoleezza.”
“It was love at first sight,” he said of his meeting with the former Secretary of State in 2008. “I was immediately turned on by her hard-to-spell name.”
Rebel field commander Awad Daiki said that with thousands of fierce fighters disguised as Rice, the military mission dubbed Operation Condoleezza was sure to be a success.
“Once we will have Gaddafi in our clutches, there will be cause for celebration,” he said. “Plus, we can’t wait to get out of these heels.”